She Stole My Words

She turned and looked at me and said, “I know things are different between us, because you don’t speak to me; before even when we on the outs you always found a way to let me know I was on your mind. You would use your blog, or write an email.”

I had to take a minute to think about what she was saying, and after further reflection I realized that she had stolen my words. She plundered my treasure I had buried deep inside of me.   She always hated the fact I was so open about what I was going thru and especially when it came to problems that she was causing me. After  a while I just stop writing about our problems partly in respect to her wishes and partly I was ashamed of what I was putting up with.
I would still bloged, but after time I stopped doing the thing that I loved to do and the thing that kept me the most human, being honest about what I was going thru. I tried so very had to fix things between us and I tried to evolve into someone that deserves a true love, a game changing love.  I watched many of my family and friends crash and sink on love’s jagged rocks. Somehow I was always believed that I would be spared and shown the path to navigate to the goal I truly desired.
I guess now it’s a fool’s folly.  Maybe I am giving up, maybe I am just growing up.
She took everything I had to offer a person, all that was good in me, and never returned the sentiment.  I believe that even a person as imperfect as myself can love someone so perfectly and I tried to do that when it came to her.
My heart, my life,  my ring was not enough  to convince her that our life together was a worth while effort.  So I failed at the one game I really needed to win.
So I am forced to  see thru the lies and cheating to know I  deserve better and just fold me hands and move on close that chapter of my life and not do what I have always done before and leave the door slightly ajar so she can always come back home.

I have not quite got thru all of the bs, but I am cool with the lessons learned It will take some time I guess but I have already moved on.   Loving someone is one thing but allowing them to take every advantage of you and give almost nothing in return is a very very different thing.