What if tomorrow never comes..

Promise,
Dedication,
Trust,
Faith,
Hope,
What if tomorrow never comes, can these words sustain
me,
Will they tell my story,
Will they explain my actions, my wants, my needs, my
intentions
My life in vain?,
Did I pin everything I have on a hope of a better
tomorrow,
Did I lose the realization of today, for the dream of
tomorrow?
Did I buy my own lie, and forget that tomorrow is for
fools, and dreams
Maybe I am a fool, who dreams,
I need to know what if tomorrow never comes….

Disappointment and redemption

So I am in NYC handling business and things were going a little bumpy but I was keeping my head up doing what I can do. I had to run to Harlem and I stopped in the House of Hoops and that’s when it happend redemption for a hard morning. I saw and Immediately copped this super nova hottness…

I can’t wait to killem with these.

I got a hoody and tshirt

The house of hoops is a good retail concept. hottness on demand.

Atl bound

On this plane drunk as fuck(thank god for business class).
Trying to convince myself that this metal bird won’t drop out of the sky. Thinking what is really on the other side of this equation. I know the primary motivation for this move is being there for my oldest daughter. Trying convince her that her dad gives a fuck. She thinks because she was there and i was here that I don’t love here and nothing could be futher from the truth. She dosen’t understand how she single handily change the course of my life and gave me the focus to push through bs and make something out of myself. She doesn’t know what i was before she was born i was an animal doing what I had yo survive. Even through her mom choose to bounce to Atl. I always loved her and wished she was by my side, that is old shit, I saw her starting veer off course so I made the choice to try to get closer to her. She thinks it’s too little too late but I know better. The benefit of years tells me any plan is better then no plan. So I got my place in Atl and still had to keep my place in NJ so I can get my grind on. Now of course i am leaving my whole world behind me and I feel like whatever I know what I have to do. It doesn’t make the chioce easy just let’s me sleep at night. There is my bull shit in my past that I am glad to leave behind, just don’t want to be running from shit cause that is not me. I just don’t believe in taking the old into the new so the grim reaper is out in full force killing everything that was my life. I feel like Joe black looming around my formal life like a fucking tourist cause soon enough it will be a distant memory. Can’t say for sure this Atl shit will fly but one thing for shit sure i am not going backwards so what next bitches…

Here and Now

I can't believe this I am so out of breath, my mouth is so dry. I am so nervous; I can't seem to find the words, last night I had all the courage in the world. Now all the words chase my punk ass around my mind, and I try to take refuge in the dark corners of my mind's playground, but here comes the schoolyard bully, and it's high-noon otherwise known as 3 o clock, and it's my turn to have my lunch money taken while at the same time have my dignity taken from me, by having my underwear pulled up over my head.

Yea, I am my words little bitch right now,  the pressure is on, the time bullies normally go running for their mommy's. Talking all tough and rough, now when it matters my words break like the Rock Steady Crew.

See everyday for the last week, I have been waking up earlier then normal so I will be Right Here, Right Now, sitting directly across from you.

I have been not so secretly watching you over the rims of my glasses, trying to act like I am reading this book, I picked this book because it was supposed to be a favorite amongst the women at the office where I work. Funny, women doesn't seem to be the correct term for them, cause if they are women, then you must be some evolutionary jump forward, you must be one of those rare breeds that were on left on an island that evolved completely differently then your close cousins.

I am completely captured by the little twist of your traits and entranced by your beauty and your rareness. I feel like I was on safari and saw an animal so beautiful that I laid my shotgun down and picked up a bible, because with something of such stalk beauty there truly must be a God and I need to drop down and give thanks to the all mighty, cause you are mighty fine in my eyes.

All of this only heighten my sense of urgency cause I am like a 4yr old every-time you leave my vision, I worry you my never come back, and inside I cry. Now here I seat here dress in my Sunday best, nervous and pensive holding in my breath like I have gas, no I don't have gas but I have the words to blow you away, now if I can just remember where did I put them.

Yea I lovingly caressed them to sleep last night, but I awoke to find that Yogi bear made off with my picnic basket, but boo-boo I really do have the words that are just for you. 

A voice of the train's PA reminds me that time is of the essence and the minutes are ticking in the direction that made my action all the more vital, my lack of actions is the key here because even though it's been nearly a week of this game of cat and mouse, where you are Jerry, and I am Tom getting my ass handing to me yet again. Where did I put those damn words, I don't know why I am tripping over losing them. It's not like I have the courage to speak them, cause even though I can fly through my minds eye and single handily save the world time and time again in my mind, your beauty must be the kryptonite that levels my superman powerless.

Maybe I should face facts, that some dreams are just that, some words are meant only to be sung along with the rhythm of the heart, and to utter such truths will cause a rip in the space time continuum, that will surely usher in the end of days.
All I know is that none of that matters because for all intensive purposes there is no one else in this world just us two, and I have been sitting here for 30 minutes trying to remember where I parked the words , the words to pick the lock and set the caged bird free.  That's when it happens you start to gather yourself readying to leave; I have to make my move.  The pressure is too much and I start lose hope and accept my fate, just then as the gravity of my failure raises up to greet me, Just then it happens an act of mercy You shine light against the approaching darkness, you grant my stay of execution and set free my flights of fancy, Your lips separate and your angelic voice speaks "Have a good day" It's show time "You too", I reply as I watch you walk off the train as the doors close and I  start to cry because at that very moment I remember where I put the words,

You see I didn't want to lose them so I wrote them on my heart. The train starts to pull away; I dry my eyes and wait for my next

Here and Now

MY OWN COMIC!

Yes that is me and I made this at BITSTRIPS.COM 

Thanks to my tweep Promethh for the link.

iPhone economy

After getting the new iPhone. I had to go back and buy a new case and new charger. Cause assories that don’t support apples’s made for iphone program don’t work. :(. Apple is caking off a million phones In a weekend. That’s pimping.

First post from iPhone

Back from the dead and back on this site.
Boo!

Will I ever see Paris?

It has come to my attention that Paris is more then a noun, to me. More then a
place, much as I am sad to say. I have
never traveled outside of the country at this point; I am far too old for that
to be a reality. I started to consider
the reason why I have not made to Grand old Pari,

Paris seems the perfect place for someone like me in theory,
a city for lovers, and me being a sag, one of the great lovers of the zodiacs,
sorry to be wrapped in conceit about this topic, but I have come to know for
some great time that If I have one gift, if there is one immutable fact about
me, It’s that I know love, it’s more like an ability then a personality
trait. Not always on but at a moment
notice, I can focus my powers on something or someone and that’s all she
wrote.

Paris

would be ideal, all the small streets, and little shops hocking all kind of
wears. All the restaurants, and let me
stop to say nothing translates love like good food, it’s like a filament to a
light bulb. Maybe that’s why so many
happy people are fat.

I keep having this dream, well not so much a dream then a
desire which is more vivid, to me then any dream, that I will walk the city of
love, not Philly but the streets of

Paris

with my love. Now here comes the funny
part, the really rich layer to this all, the man with the power to love, and
all this stored up love in his heart, has no one to love, and every time I plan
a trip to the

Paris

, with someone,
it never happens.

I plan to ask the woman I love Volonté vous m’épousez on the
Eiffel tower, and she will accept my words and will with eyes
blinded by love travel through the city.

As the years go on and time passes me by I begin to wonder
if my dreams are every going to come true, I have tried so hard at times to my
them a reality, but its not like making a cake, it’s more like a soufflé where
you have to be quietly patient. But my
soufflé won’t rise. My roots of love and
hope have grown to a tree that won’t bear fruit.

But in my sad little heart I still believe it will one day,
so I don’t throw the tree in the wood chucker, but it stands a reminder, more
like a oversize question mark,

 

Will I ever see

Paris

?

 

Love Mock Me Not!

Here again I find myself alone, lonely, loveless.

I have been inflected with the disease. This terrible illness, the symptoms are fits of depression, rage, hopelessness.

Followed by weeks of confusion, and abandonment.

Prognosis Not good, there’s no cure for it, I can’t even get a doctor to

Proscribe a good pain killer, I keep self medicating but I have only ended up addicted to porn.

I read in a medical journal that some people with the same disease found good results with new treatments

a few doctors are proscribing a cocktail of happiness, new love, sexual encounters with someone other then yourself.

I have to go to one of these doctors, but my HMO doesn’t cover them because they are out of network…

Damn

Love stop mocking me!

Tears for the hunted

I  run as fast as I can. I run through the night, through the
day.

I hear them hot on my tail, they dip there arrows with lies
and deceit.

They lay claim to me, desiring my flesh, my heart as there
meat. X marks the spot

X crosses my heart. Once I suckled them with love’s bosom,

Now they chase me through out my days. My flesh is not rich
enough to stain them,

I protest, but they care not for my cries as there selfish
desires burn,

what I once gave freely is now what they yearn.

I cry out love’s pain as their arrows pierce my flesh, I’ve
lost my fight, the hunt a success

and I am branded beast at every table, I would have feed
them all my love when I was able